Something you didnt know.... Sunday 16th November 2008, 4:52 PM
You know im going to tell you something that you may not know. Now, ive come across this at work since i speak to my collegues about it quite a lot and they ask me how im getting on. If your gay, then you probably already know but i want to shine a little bit of light onto the gay culture, the 'scene' as people call it and also that community that makes it up too.
My first relationship was with a guy called Daniel, he was from Birmingham and over the course of 18 months, we met up, he moved down to london and he even moved in with me in my dads house and progressed our relationship forward from there. I had never had any relationships this intense, fast moving, and what i didnt know was it could probably be the best id ever had.
Before Dan met me he had never had a relationship with a guy before, since he was a ladies man and i guess that was a nice appeal that he had never even been tainted by the community. He was faithful, commited, caring, romantic, and what i loved was he was masculine too.
I think the biggest mistake im ny life, and I still truly believe this was that i broke up with him before i was 18. My mind was set that i had it all, i was greedy and nieve to think that most people where like this and it was that simple. Before my 18th birthday i broke up with Dan and from then lived my life with my friends moving slowly into the gay community.
Most people dont know that the gay scene is riddened with Drugs, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Tacky Clubs, Pretentious Queens, Steriods, HIV, Shallow People and much more. The media side can catch many of the 'camp' people out there, which in the public light appeears to be a womans best friend.
I hate the fact that you rarely see on TV a guy who looks masculine, natural, with a normal haircut without come sort of Bleach or highlights in it. They have to camp it up and bring out some femnine guy with hands all up in the air. It doesnt portray a good look for anyone in the commuinity and i doubt youd see someone with those mannerisms high up in a company either!
It comes across as tacky and generic, surely if your intereted in guys, why would you want someone who spends more time in the bathroom sorting their hair out than it taken you to chuck on a couple of clothes?!
Now, I dont completely hate the gay community since we do know how to party, and some can pay attention to detail, in many aspects, but its very easy to be sucked into this era if your young and like i was nieve. I hold my morals firm and they havnt changed for a long time. Dan taught me a lot of thing about the straight community, and you see the difference. I tauight Dan a lot about being gay, but most of those feelings are what he has acted upon to start talking to me, moving onto us being a couple. He told me his view on the outside perspective of the gay life and he were spot on.
My ideal life would be to have a boyfriend tomorrow whos masculine, likes guys, and isnt scared of it, have a great life together and all those bits in the middle. The hardest part of this is that its almost impossible to get a relationship in this world as a gay person since everyones so content in sleeping together and wondering whos next on their to do list.
XXX Ohhhh. I have to disagree with you Del with comment "Most people dont know that the gay scene is riddened with Drugs, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Tacky Clubs, Pretentious Queens, Steriods, HIV, Shallow People and much more. The media side can catch many of the 'camp' people out there, which in the public light appeears to be a womans best friend."
The second half about the media yes but i dont necessarily think its all about drugs,tacky clubs, steroids etc. I think that could apply very much to Soho but there is lots more out there. But since we're friends I'll agree to disagree
Sunday 16th November 2008, 8:36 PM
Derek Hyams hmm, now ive got find out who you are?! Your smart enough to override my site, with your lovely xxx's and your my mate, but not enough to know that dell is spelt with two l's....
Im guessing someone new(ish)
the hunt begins! Sunday 16th November 2008, 9:14 PM
Chris Errm right am not too sure how to start this reply/comment as I thought that in this day and age gay people would not prejudice against other gays as that has been done enough by the straights and the narrow minded. But what I'm even more surprised to see written here is prejudice against people that have HIV and espescially coming from a very intelligent young man. I myself am positive and not out of choice. This has actually made finding a partner rather difficult due to people sharing your point of view. I agree with a lot of what you say but I think this all needs to be put into perspective. You're only young and have most of your life ahead of you. I may not be that much older than you but have been on the gay scene for much longer and have seen what it has to offer. I also keep reminding myself that I need to keep an open mind as to what's available on the said scene. You make what you want of it. Monday 17th November 2008, 1:31 PM
Derek Hyams You have to realise im not being prejudice again people with HIV at all, I realise what the virus is, can cause, and the gravity of how serious it is, hense why i am always safe. What im trying to phrase is that in a male orientated bar everyone is so content with sleeping with each other then moving on, that they do not realise the concequences involved going bareback.
The scene is what you make of it, yes, The scene is good for drinking partying and for me thats about it. When you walk into GAY bar the 10 people waiting on the left hand side looking for the quickest shag they can find. Why is it when you go to the scene people just assume your looking for a shag and thats it, and i can understnd why people dont go to the scene at all.
I realise some some bars are more susceptible to it than others but most if not all gay bars are like that because the scene is so sleezy.... The day someone comes up and talks to me to get to know me and not for a quick fling then i may think otherwise.... Wednesday 19th November 2008, 6:39 PM
Thomas Dennis See now, I think you should have touched on from what his life was like. Then possibly talk about examples of how some people you know are very anti-stereotype. Friday 21st November 2008, 12:41 AM
Derek Hyams Do you go to the scene tom? Friday 21st November 2008, 7:50 AM
Thomas Dennis I haven't since the second week of September. Saying that, I am going Saturday, but there's a huge group of gays/straights going. Friday 21st November 2008, 10:46 AM
Derek Hyams Would you go on your own? Friday 21st November 2008, 9:31 PM
XXX
Ohhhh. I have to disagree with you Del with comment "Most people dont know that the gay scene is riddened with Drugs, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Tacky Clubs, Pretentious Queens, Steriods, HIV, Shallow People and much more. The media side can catch many of the 'camp' people out there, which in the public light appeears to be a womans best friend."
The second half about the media yes but i dont necessarily think its all about drugs,tacky clubs, steroids etc. I think that could apply very much to Soho but there is lots more out there. But since we're friends I'll agree to disagree
Sunday 16th November 2008, 8:36 PM
Derek Hyams
hmm, now ive got find out who you are?! Your smart enough to override my site, with your lovely xxx's and your my mate, but not enough to know that dell is spelt with two l's....
Im guessing someone new(ish)
the hunt begins!
Sunday 16th November 2008, 9:14 PM
Chris
Errm right am not too sure how to start this reply/comment as I thought that in this day and age gay people would not prejudice against other gays as that has been done enough by the straights and the narrow minded. But what I'm even more surprised to see written here is prejudice against people that have HIV and espescially coming from a very intelligent young man. I myself am positive and not out of choice. This has actually made finding a partner rather difficult due to people sharing your point of view. I agree with a lot of what you say but I think this all needs to be put into perspective. You're only young and have most of your life ahead of you. I may not be that much older than you but have been on the gay scene for much longer and have seen what it has to offer. I also keep reminding myself that I need to keep an open mind as to what's available on the said scene. You make what you want of it.
Monday 17th November 2008, 1:31 PM
Derek Hyams
You have to realise im not being prejudice again people with HIV at all, I realise what the virus is, can cause, and the gravity of how serious it is, hense why i am always safe. What im trying to phrase is that in a male orientated bar everyone is so content with sleeping with each other then moving on, that they do not realise the concequences involved going bareback.
The scene is what you make of it, yes, The scene is good for drinking partying and for me thats about it. When you walk into GAY bar the 10 people waiting on the left hand side looking for the quickest shag they can find. Why is it when you go to the scene people just assume your looking for a shag and thats it, and i can understnd why people dont go to the scene at all.
I realise some some bars are more susceptible to it than others but most if not all gay bars are like that because the scene is so sleezy.... The day someone comes up and talks to me to get to know me and not for a quick fling then i may think otherwise....
Wednesday 19th November 2008, 6:39 PM
Thomas Dennis
See now, I think you should have touched on from what his life was like. Then possibly talk about examples of how some people you know are very anti-stereotype.
Friday 21st November 2008, 12:41 AM
Derek Hyams
Do you go to the scene tom?
Friday 21st November 2008, 7:50 AM
Thomas Dennis
I haven't since the second week of September. Saying that, I am going Saturday, but there's a huge group of gays/straights going.
Friday 21st November 2008, 10:46 AM
Derek Hyams
Would you go on your own?
Friday 21st November 2008, 9:31 PM